
The language that you speak torments me in my sleep*
I hate repeating myself (or do I?) and I know I've posted these lyrics before. But, you see, I'm obsessed about languages, as much as I'm obsessed about certain songs. And how could I help it? It's right in the first sentence -"or do I?" - shouldn't it be "or don't I?". To be honest, I don't know but it's these crazy language hiccups that make things interesting.
With languages it is often a case of the stranger the better. Typically, as you get to know a language and begin to master it, it gradually becomes less mysterious. It stops being something that is foreign and exterior and it becomes a part of you, an instrument of you. This has happened to me and English. I started to learn the language when I was 10 years old. Before that happened, I was so fascinated by it that I pretended to know it and tried to immitate the sounds from songs and films.
Then began the slow process of mastering the language. It was incredibly fascinating because it was the language of all things cool. But it was also immensely frustrating wanting to use it as if it was my own - I wrote a lot of terrible phrasing before my words sounded more or less decent. It took years of practice of both reading and writing and, in the process, English became a part of me, not the language that singers sang in anymore. I know this because I cannot help but write in English, it is now a part of my mental processes, my creativity, my writing abilities. And even though I still enjoy it, it has become too familiar to keep the previous allure, so I have to turn elsewhere for fascination.
The fascination is in the sounds, the musicality, the accents, the similarities, the differences, the meanings, the connections, the exceptions, the origins, the evolutions. Really, what is there not to like? Unless you aren't into languages, which is also an option.
As I mentioned above, I believe a language becomes a part of you when you use it frequently enough. Being the way to express yourself, you have to mold it to your preferences and to your profile. This makes me wonder if, considering how different languages can be, certain languages aren't a better fit for certain people or certain usages and expressions. Obviously every language has the ability to express the whole range of realities, but can one language trap you in your expression? Could you express a side of you more easily using a different language? Or are you able to be more 'you' in a certain language? I don't know if these questions make any sense to you.
More Sunday Scribblings.
*lyrics by Smoke City "It's Amazing" / photo on everystockphoto.com