Wednesday, May 02, 2007

hey you, get out of my cloud

Not sure it is a good idea to start a post without knowing what I'm going to write about. I am completely uninspired. Not just at this precise moment, but for the last days. Not only on blog terms, but on everything I've been doing. My mind is a sandy, hot desert. Not an oasis in sight.

There was something fresh that made me smile a little. I was telling Vesper how I was really disappointed when Tori Amos released Scarlet's Walk, but she encouraged me to give it another chance (well, she didn't say that, but she liked the album after a while, so I decided to play it again). There was a pearl of a song there, called "Your cloud" - it's about separation and ending relationships. One of the few Tori songs when you can grasp the meaning behind the lyrics.

The chorus says:

If the rain
Has to separate from
does it say
"pick out your cloud"?

Is there a better way to put it? The song goes on about this idea: even though we are individuals ("Who we were isn't lost, before we were Us, Indigo in his own, Blue always knew this"), when we enter a meaningful deep relationship we become one with someone else...and if there comes a time when we have to separate ourselves from that can we pick out our cloud? How can we distinguish between what's ours and what isn't?


Ps said...

So true.And so very difficult.Two lives become so intertwined that they merge and its difficult to say where one begins or other ends.

The best way to do it cold heartedly.Just leave.And be very very determined.Accept the pain--never look back.(if you do, you will succumb back to the addiction)Ultimately--arent all relationships addictions?

Vesper said...

so sweet of you to mention me. :) and that is a gorgeous of my faves from the album definitely. have you gotten her brand new album? it came out yesterday...although i got it on april 29th by way of some badass torrent programmes. ;)

Niall said...

Why is it that we are so often defined by the pain we have felt? What is your first thought when you see a flame?..'Oh that looks so warm and inviting..maybe I can warm myself?'.....or is it 'I might get burnt'?...perhaps a mixture of the two?

fb said...

Sometimes it's alright to just go freeform with your posts...

I haven't had too much to say either but am enjoying our footballing conversations!

Where did Manchester United go because they weren't in the San Siro!

I was very impressed with Seedorf, I don't know if you remember him with long dreads or not but I think this short haircut is making him play better.

Mascherano v Gattuso should be interesting!

The final hopefully will be good too as Liverpool and Milan meet again!

holy chaos said...

"Why is it that we are so often defined by the pain we have felt?"

wow! what a post and comment...

i think pain changes us...makes us either hard hearted or more tender and compassionate


we have to fight not to let pain define us...

like a bad job... bad relationship...

if pain doesn't define us then what does???

family,friends,$$$, occupation???

it takes awhile to separate from someone and to know what is you and what isn't... especially if that someone is controlling.

dharmabum said...

reminds me of a lil koan or something i read somewhere. don't remember the source though :(

*knock knock*
'who is there?'
'it's me'
'go away, there isn't place enough for two'

*knock knock*
'who is there?'
'it's me'
'go away, there isn't place enough for two'

*knock knock*
'who is there?'
'its you - for what am i without you?'

*door opens*

Christopher said...

I was thinking of getting the new Tori Amos record when I get some money that I can spend on myself. There is a lot of good albums coming out this year!

Devil Mood said...

PS: I think they are, addictions I mean. I hope to remember your words when I need them one day :)

Vesper: I decided to do it very legally and ordered it online. Can't wait! :)

Niall: I think it's the second one, in my case. Maybe because I don't trust myself around flames, metaphorically. And here we are talking about fire again!

FB: Of course you are enjoying them, I actually complimented Liverpool! heheh kidding! I don't know what was wrong with Man U last night, it was frightening. Losing 2-0 and only making one substitution at 77 minutes!! What was Ferguson thinking?? It was fun to see Gattuso and his temper :) Let's see what the final will bring. Milan will probably be looking for revenge, right?

Holychaos: I never thought about what defines us, but I'd like to believe it's something from within, even though it's not always easy to show our true selves to the world. But you're right, we shouldn't let pain take that protagonism.

Dharmabum: hehe nice! Thanks for sharing. :)

Christopher: I also want to get Feist's new album, it's out now too :)

diyadear said...

devil mood,

the lyrics r soo very true.. how can an individual be shaped if not with the help of those around him/her?? severing is such a pain n u can never divide the cloud. it will only decompose to leave some stains behind..

Devil Mood said...

Diyadear: "It only decomposes to leave some stains behind" wow, that's a great line! :) When I write a song I shall include that, with your permission :)

kimananda said...

I may have to get that new album. I was listening to clips of it on iTunes, and it sounds, well, like Tori Amos. Which is a very good thing. On the other hand, I'm just getting into her for the first time since leaving for Europe (at which point she had released 2 cd's), and I'm starting to get the stuff I don't have in order, so it may take me a while to get that far.

Novel Nymph said...


I just love hanging off of your cloud...


Maddie said...

what remains is what belongs to you.
i like to leave love intact although
it takes heart and courage to do so.

lovely line:)

Devil Mood said...

Kim: Interesting how a change of residency can change everything else around it. It doesn't surprise me, though...

NoveL: How sweet - that could be haiku, right? :)

Maddie: It's all very complicated ;P

Cathy said...

First of all, that photo is fabulous!
And what you write is so honest adn true. I have been with Mr. C for so long now, but we have kept our individuals selves; so many women leave themselves behind when they get married or have children...

Cathy said...

I really must spellcheck myself (sheepish oops).

MAHIMA said...

i wrote a piece on can you steal someone's emotions once.
this reminded me of that.
coming back to your post,
i can never separate 'my cloud' once it has become one with another. i am always changed by my relationship with another.impossible for me to revert to being the-original-me-before-the-relationship. i am always changed, changing.
merging and coming out changed is, to me, a positive evolution. :)

Devil Mood said...

Cathy: don't worry! I don't take you for the kind of person that could compromise their identity because of a relationship :)

Mahima: I know what you mean, well said! Being learning experiences, it's only natural that relationships change us. :)

Anonymous said...

now I want to hear all of that song...
interested in doing a CD swap??

Devil Mood said...

Day: Sure, I'll send it to you. No problem :)

Meow said...

I've heard bits of the new Tori album ... it sounds pretty good. I love alot of her older stuff, though ... it'll be pretty hard to top that.
Take care, Meow

Devil Mood said...

Meow: Sometimes I think that too - nothing like the old songs! But we need to keep an open mind, right? hehe

diyadear said...

devil mood,
ha ha u can use it.. now when u say it, im surprised i invented that line lol..