Please accept cheesy sunset as a token of my affection

Somehow it's easier to talk about the books I've read in the past year than to talk about the year itself. Maybe because I lost touch of blogging about myself, probably because it takes less effort, of the mind and of the heart. Right now, it's simpler to focus on the present.

But anyway, the last book I read was really juicy. It was set on Canada and I usually have good experiences with books if their action happens there (The Blind Assassin was one of the finest books I read last year). The author wasn't Canadian but lived in Canada for most of her life. I wasn't familiar with Carol Shields but I'll be reading more from her. This book was called The Republic of Love and I was intrigued at to what the title referred to, until I reached this explanation (it won't ruin the book for you, rest assured):

Almost everyone gets a chance to say it - I love you. And to hear it said to them. Love is, after all, a republic, not a kingdom.

Now, isn't that neat? How do we never run out of clever metaphors? I promise the book isn't mushy, it's really good.

I was thinking that I could never not love books, as they rarely disappoint me. I do research their subject and the author before I buy them, so it's not down to lucky guesses, but about 95% of the time I am not disappointed. In those 5% unhappy cases I sometimes want to throw the book away from me. I'm reading them and shaking my head in disbelief - it's either: I could write better than this, or, plainly, this is shit...and I want to stretch my arm and throw the book far far away, but I never do and always obediently read the book until the last word, perhaps in hope that something good can come out of it in the end, even if it is 'never buy this author again'. I did leave a book unfinished earlier this year, you can guess it was pretty bad for me to just give up. Or maybe I just wasn't in the mood for sacrifices at that point.

Also, would you like to gender analyse your blog (or someone else's)? Go here http://genderanalyzer.com/ - it uses artificial intelligence having studied a ton of blogs.

We think http://devilmood.blogspot.com is written by a woman (62%).

And for some reason I was suddenly reminded of the smell of soap bubbles.

when it's all in a book

He smiled; the incisors were oddly canine; would he bite? she hoped.

Empire - Gore Vidal

I liked the portuguese version even more. It said: would he bite? she thought, full of hope.

books on a glimpse

Even though I'm not an enthusiast of doing year reviews, I do enjoy looking back on the books I read and do a top 5. First of all, it's fun to look back and see that you didn't even remember the books you read (I only do because I write them down). And then you can look back and think of the ones that really inspired you and that were really significant and sometimes this brings a surprise or two.

This year, it wasn't very hard to pick the good ones. This wasn't the best reading year of my life, I'm afraid. 

- The Lost Art of Keeping Secrets (Eva Rice) - reading this book was like eating a luxury cake with layers. It is a girly book, don't be mistaken, even the pages are pink on the side. But it has the most perfect ingredients - a 50's setting, the dawn of rock'n'roll, an old mansion, unusual characters, particularly a young man who is a magician and names like Penelope and Igby and really decent writing. 

- Passion (Jude Morgan) - Not only is the book long, but each page contains a world of images, feelings and thoughts, a lifetime of considerations. You have to take it slowly but if you do you'll enjoy every step of the way. True masterpiece! 

- Love in Idleness (Charlotte Mendelson) - this book is so crazy but also so inspirational. I drank every sentence and it is a big influence on how I write at the moment.

- La Aventura del Tocador de Senoras (Eduardo Mendoza) (portuguese version) - more or less 'the adventure in the ladies hairdresser's' - hilarious book, completely nonsensical and funny.

- Dynamic of the Unconscious: Seminars in Psychological Astrology (Liz Greene /Howard Sasportas) - the non-fiction section of my top5. Wow, just wow. I'm still reading this because I'm taking one step at the time but the way they explain archetypes and psychological development with Astrology is simply brilliant. 

Scribblings but not from sunday

No prompt this week to write about, at least until now. So I will improvise. (That means I will cheat.)

Last week I finished reading an extremely rich book, called Passion, about the lives of english poets Byron, Shelley and Keats. To add to the recipe, the story is told by 4 women who loved them, even though a lot more than 4 women loved them. I don't know about you but just this synopsis was enough to make me rub my hands in contentment. And I wasn't disappointed at the end of the 600 odd pages.

Right near the end of the book, there was this really interesting speech by one of the characters (a secondary character):

The fact that we have nothing left to say may mean that the things necessary to be said are beyond our current grasp - and thus that when, as too often happens, I write the title page of a new work and then cannot write anymore, what is being demonstrated is that I inhabit limits and boundaries of thought, I stand upon impenetrable and wonderful frontiers - hence in what appears stasis there is in fact progression ...

Jude Morgan

So what do you say? Is he being deluded and presumptuous or could you accept this possibility? Could this make you feel a little better at times? :)

Happy Birthday!

Just a small post to note that it's the 120th anniversary of Fernando Pessoa's birth. Fernando Pessoa was/is Portugal's greatest poet and that is saying a lot, in a country of poets.

He dedicated his whole life to writing, whilst keeping jobs on the side to sustain him economically. The most notable fact about his writing was his like for creating heteronyms. The experts have mentioned there were over 70 of them! He created these characters, gave them names, ideas and a specific writing style and he wrote the poems in their names. Let's call it the many faces of Gemini.

For instance his heteronym Alberto Caeiro was really fond of nature and very connected to the Earth. Ricardo Reis was a neo-classical poet, he inherited the themes from Ancient Greece. Álvaro de Campos is more concerned with issues of the modern times, he's very intense and wants to feel everything intensely. They all had specific private lives and jobs, they even wrote letters to each other.

Pessoa also wrote epic poems: he wrote a collection called Message about the past, present and future of Portugal. Some occultists consider this to be prophetic. Pessoa himself was very interested in Occultism and Astrology, one of his heteronyms was an astrologer, he made birth charts for his greatest heteronyms and made the chart of Portugal too. He was also interested in the philosophical issues of his time, writing essays about specific schools of thought.

He even wrote for advertising. If I'm not mistaken he created the first slogan for Coca-Cola in Portugal.

For this and much more he should always be remembered.

I Am Tired

I am tired, that is clear,
Because, at certain stage, people have to be tired.
Of what I am tired, I don't know:
It would not serve me at all to know
Since the tiredness stays just the same.
The wound hurts as it hurts
And not in function of the cause that produced it.
Yes, I am tired,
And ever so slightly smiling
At the tiredness being only this -
In the body a wish for sleep,
In the soul a desire for not thinking
And, to crown all, a luminous transparency
Of the retrospective understanding ...
And the one luxury of not now having hopes?
I am intelligent: that's all.
I have seen much and understood much of what I have seen.
And there is a certain pleasure even in tiredness this brings us,
That in the end the head does still serve for something.

(24.06.1935)
'Selected Poems' translated from Fernando Pessoa by J.Griffin. (http://pintopc.home.cern.ch/pintopc/www/FPessoa/FPessoa.html)

Link: http://www.disquietude.nl/ - an impressive website with english audio of Pessoa's greatest book and animations. It's not how I usually read him but it's interesting.

Classical vs. modern

I finished reading The Great Gatsby the other day and I thought I'd tell you how it went. I didn't hate it. There are interesting moments there, of intensity, of devotion, of sweetness. It was sweet that Gatsby was besotted with Daisy. But I didn't understand the role of the narrator there. The main character (if we can say that about someone that barely speaks their mind) was lifeless, he simply went behind those people that he found enchanting or interesting or curious...he didn't seem to have a mind of his own, especially not in the beginning. The tragical plot is a little forced too, but it wasn't a waste of my time.

I prefered Tender is the Night, it's a more profound, meaningful book.

At the same time, I watched a brilliant episode of the Sopranos and it made me compare the two experiences. In this episode, Tony Soprano is worried about his son's depression after her girlfriend let him. There are moments of absolutely brilliance in this episode, silent moments, and no words could ever portray everything in the characters' eyes, every word that is said or unsaid. It gave me so much more to think about than that book (even though the book doesn't seem dated, it feels rather modern). Maybe I didn't get the (probable) depth of the Great Gatsby, but this tv-show seemed a lot more meaningful and elaborate than the book.

Obviously I'm talking about two different art-forms here, but even though it isn't literature, the Sopranos is a modern classic now. Plus I have a hard time believing Tony Soprano doesn't exist in real life. ;)

virtues

I'm reading The Great Gatsby and I found this line very interesting:

Everyone suspects himself of at least one of the cardinal virtues, and this is mine: I am one of the few honest people that I have ever known.

First of all, I thought it was interesting that everyone knows the deadly sins but the cardinal virtues are raely mentioned. Then I tried to find out what those cardinal virtues were: it seems they were four at first, but then turned into seven, so they could balance the deadly sins, I suppose. But none of them is honesty!! Justice isn't honesty, temperance isn't honesty, prudence isn't honesty and fortitude isn't honesty. And the other seven: chastity, abstinence, liberality, diligence, patience, kindness and humility. None of them is honesty.

So where did F. Scott Fitzgerald picked that from?

If I were to "suspect myself" of any of those, I'd pick honesty too, but it isn't on the list. What would you choose?

I'm currently reading a book about relationships gone wrong. It's the type of book that I'd never read unless it was written by my favourite writer...and it is, so there you go.

To start off, she was writting about how the education we receive from our parents and society affects our relationships and she mentioned the western myth of eternal love. It's common in our society to seek a relationship with someone else that is entirely fulfilling and lasts forever. She says that in China, for instance, the expression of loving someone is only used between mother and child, whilst between husband and wife there is "affection". (that's what she says but she's been known for saying goofy things).

It seems that over here we tend to forget that passion ends (I need to be reminded of this myself, maybe I should get a post-it stuck in my desk saying passion ends!), that what comes after that can be wonderful but needs a lot of work put into it. People don't want to work on it, they want everything there and then. And sometimes we don't understand that break-ups and separations can be the best thing that's ever happened to us, but no, we talked about "failed marriages" and "broken hearts". And to make matters worse, living in this increasingly individualistic world, where the societal values have failed and we have little references everywhere we go, these romantic relationships are even more sought for, more essential for one's sense of worth.

This made me think (not too much because I was sleepy when I read it, but this is important!) And I've never felt more like Carrie Bradshaw writting a post in my laptop. Now I gotta go because I need to reach 6000 words today.

Summer has arrived, at last.

The insomnia is back, this time connected to the creative process. I've heard of so many writers tortured by their characters at night and now I'm living it. It's so uncanny that something imaginary can make you feel so many things (excitement, worry, struggle, torture, pleasure...). At this early stage I have a twinkle in my eye, especially when ideas come suddenly from out of nowhere. But deep down there is a constant pressure, a voice that criticizes me being excited about something that isn't real, shouldn't I be more concerned about more concrete things in my life? It's the Saturn Neptune opposition in the sky - reality vs. dreams and imagination.

But I've decided to this, so this voice will have to keep quiet for the moment. I need to do this for myself.

In the meantime I'm reading this book - The Seach for Sana. Unfortunately Middle Eastern issues are never outdate, especially now with what's happening in Lebanon. How can all of this still be going on? Is there no solution whatsoever? The book is part-fictional, part-real and it's funny to read it because I actually met the writer personally, he lives in my town, even though he's from New York.

123

If you were expecting me to stop talking about books and writing in this new post (I know I was! I'm getting a little repetitive) ...you may be disappointed.

The sweet Dharmabum (he's not really called sweet Dharmabum, just Dharmabum but he's so sweet and thoughtful, I think!) was tagged with this and gave me the oportunity to do this myself, if I wished...and I did.

You're supposed to pick up the book you're reading right now, go to page 123 (or the last page of the book if it doesn't get that far) and copy the 5th paragraph (or the last paragraph, in case there isn't one). I've already told you about the book I'm reading. It's Sleep with Me by Joanna Briscoe. Here it goes.

She was calm and milky, her hair roughly pulled back into a chopstick, her newly larger breasts visible at the opening of her dressing-gown. I hoped we wouldn't have to talk about the baby. She washed an apple and threw it haphazardly at me for my journey to work, opening her mouth in mock surprise as I caught it, and I thought, perversely, how pleasing it would be after all to have our child, kicking, smiling, grizzling in this warm place that we had made.

Good paragraph, I think, it sums up many issues of the book. I like it when the woman mocks him hehe. You're welcome to do this if you wish.

I've been having bad dreams lately. I've left the sleepless nights behind and entered the restless nights, too many dreams, all very detailed and ridiculous. I dreamt of strawberries that were the shape of carrots or bigger. What would Freud say? I don't really care. lol I also dreamt of disposable ties, made of shiny paper, that people got from those vending machines! Isn't it a good idea?

Book Day

According to UNESCO today's the World Book and Copyright Day - YaaaaY!

Probably a good occasion to tell you about this book I'm reading. It has a very suggestive title - "Sleep with me" and it involves a love triangle. I have a thing about love triangles. I don't know what it is - probably because they're messy and troubled and always end up causing problems for everyone. These sort of events are great for inducing all sorts of emotions and actions in the subjects involved - probably the reason why there's almost always a love triangle in everything I write. It's easier to write about conflict than bliss, at least for me.

Well, but this book gave me another answer to those questions I raised on my post Superstition - here's what one of the characters said:
The acceptance of good fortune is an almost impossible feat for a standard
neurotic like me.

Ah-ha! So it's not just the Catholicism...I'm loving this book. It has so many ideas that seem to have come out of my pen, even more than anything else I'm able to write at the moment. Some passages have left me in awe.

Look at how beautiful this is:

She is beautiful, yet she knows it only in fragments perceived obliquely, because her beauty needed to grow beyond spectacles and overworn clothes, beyond the chunky little girl my viola-curved love once was. [Joanna Briscoe]

This made me wonder what other people would say about me if I was a character in a book. I don't really know what kind of impression I leave on people - the trouble is when you think you know and when you think it's not that great...- we always interpret things people say with our own lenses, when we feel guilty we think they're angry at us, when we feel low we think they're against us or they perceive us as losers...

I went for a promenade today. Sat down by the river with me friend eating ice cream and having chats no one could ever overhear without admitting us to a psychiatric hospital. We watched pigeons trying to mate. We saw a local celebrity. And then we went home, eat little breads with strawberry jam and listen to the Beach Boys. The bad bit: I didn't take my camera with me and missed a lot of great shots.

Completely random post

Just a quick post to say 'hi', to give you more photos, while I'm watching a new show called "Brothers & Sisters" - it's so exciting! It has Ally McBeal (oops, I mean Calista Flockheart), Sally Field, Rachel Griffits, Balthazar Getty, Ron Rifkin, Tom Skerritt --- I didn't know some of the names but their faces are very recognisable.

All the men in this series have dark-hair. Is it a trend? They're all very similar.
But I'm enjoying the episode, it's highly dramatic!

This is from a café downtown. A café very different from the typical café here. It's very pleasant.

Sally Field is the best! And it's nice to see Calista in a dramatic role. Oh, they're playing KT Tunstall on the show :)

This is from a bookstore downtown too. I'd probably seen too many books at this point...things started to lose focus.

Still, Amazon is my favourite way to get books. Much cheaper and so much more variety. This arrived today - Vesper recommended it and now that I've browsed to it, it seems even more wonderful than I expected. I LOVE the smell of books!