This week's prompt asks us if we're competitive. Am I competitive? You have to ask?
I am very competitive, in all areas. I don't take board games lightly. I sulk if I don't win.
Looking at it from the astrological point of view, it's very simple. I have Aries rising and Aries wants to be the first in everything. Aries doesn't allow others to be better than them in anything. Their self-assurance depends on being Number 1. That's why Aries is the first sign in the Zodiac - imagine how many people would be pissed off if Aries was relegated to another place in the Wheel of the signs.
If this wasn't enough, the planet that rules Aries (Mars, god of war, of course) is opposing the Ascendant, thus close to the Descendant. The Descendant represents "the others", so I tend to be at War with others all the time. It's not something that pleases me, but it's how I feel things.
I've always been like that. I try to recall how this competitiveness came into my life, if anyone was responsible, but I realize it's something personal, something very rooted in me.
If we look closely at competition, we see that it's connected to our value and other people's value. So, deep down, it's all about self-worth and the need to affirm our own value in comparison to the value of others. Bottom line: being competitive means being unsure of one's value, and needing to be better simply to have some reassurance, some inner peace. My conclusion: It's a sad thing being competitive.
Like I said, I wish I wasn't because it doesn't bring me much satisfaction. The tragic thing happens when you want to be better than others but you're simply NOT. When you don't seem to do anything better than anyone else, when you don't seem to be really great at anything...competitiveness is a pain!
Forgive the sad conclusion.
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23 comments:
very honest well written post... i personally find being competitive way to much work... i am happier letting people like you think they are winning......
I don't think being competitive is as sad or pathetic as you make it seem! Don't be so hard on yourself.. I think its SHOWS confidence! I have no competitive drive and yet I am also insecure. So who knows? I just know I will never play Monopoly with you ! haha
great post tony...agree with paisely and lucy...cards, im a maniac...it's everything...don't lose too much sleep over it tony..great visit...
When all is said and done..if you are alive , then you are a winner in my book..goverment think tanks tell us that everything is bad for us..not too much dairy products, don't drink too much wine..leave out the red meat...don't breath etc...
Being YOU is something no one else can do..so naturally it makes you THE BEST!
I'm very unlucky with games and my husband is good. We DON"T play well together.
I don't think being competitive can be good!
I'm generally not, but friends who are can bring out the best in me. I'm thinking specifically of mountain biking, or training for something sports-related, but it carries to other areas as well.
Honest and to the point. Competitiveness can be positive or negative. I like to win, too, but I don't seek it like I did when I was younger.
Competition is a type of acknowledgment, and we all seek to be acknowledged... its a form of human intimacy.
It takes strength to be so competitive! I've opted instead to be equal, that's my goal... surround myself with people I respect and be right there with them!
My brother is just as competitive as you and he's doing very well in life, so there is a definite plus to this! If you have the energy... keep aiming high!
Not so sure I agree that competitiveness is about self worth, because that's a taurus-scorpio thing. Aries is more about finding it's identitity, it's boundaries. you might have both things going on though.
It's really cool that you are aware of this in you, it makes lots the difference, doesn't it?
I have mars in house 1, but i'm not competitive, unless it's as a joke, a play. but not really.
I know other aries rising with mars on the descendent that aren't aware of how this is their nature, so they keep being passive agressive and blaming the outside world, and that's what is really sad.
I know what you mean about board games. I find myself frustrated if I'm losing, but at the same time embarrassed I want to win so badly!
I think Aries Rising/Sag Sun is a very potent combo--so much energy to direct, what a gift. I love the image on this post by the way, what is it?
The Aries syndrome strikes again! How well I know that one but I seem to have avoided some portions of it and that's fine by me. Nice post!
Paisley: heheh and they fall for that because they think they're the best, right? ;) Good strategy!
Lucy: hehe better not. It's probably unrelated the confidence/competitiveness thing, I don't know either ;)
Littlewing: hehe Let me just say that my name isn't Tony! "Love you, Tony" was the title of my previous post - that's what you probably saw. thanks for visiting.
Niall: That's true! We're all absolute winners at that, in theory. "Don't breathe" ahaha
Day: I understand. I don't play much either, too stressful ;)
Stephanie: That's called healthy competition. Unfortunately, I don't have much of that. It's like the Good and Bad Cholesterol, you know? ;)
Forgetfulone: I agree. Personally I don't deal with it very well, but who knows? Maybe I'll learn how to deal with it better.
Rob Kitsner: It all comes down to those basic humans needs when we think about it, isn't it? Acknowledgement is a very special one.
R2R: The thing is...I don't have the energy. That's why this is a problem for me. That's why I wish I wasn't this way. But what can you do? I've gotten better at it lately, I think.
Just Jen: Oh that's so nice. I'm happy that I expressed what you wanted to see. Perhaps you can try to "say it again", if it helps.
Violet: You've got a point there! Because I have a great Scorpio emphasis as well, so mixed with the Aries thing...BOOM, competitiveness mixed with self-worth. Ah!
And I can't say I don't blame the world for my misfortunes sometimes, even though I am aware of this trait of mine ;)
I think you have a positive/healthy competitiveness then :)
Chrispito: I don't know where I found the image, it was a long time ago. :( I think I googled for 'path' or something.
It's a nice fiery combo, isn't it (in theory)? hehe
Tumblewords: I think that was a wise thing to do! :)
glad you caught my typo there - couldn't decide between which way to say competition can be a good thing, and made a mess of it in the end ;)
I love the connection with astrology, makes me wanna go and read up on Capricornians! ...I found this post original and from the heart, thanks for sharing.
UL
I am Aries too. I want to be always topping myself. I really don't care about competing with others.
Go Compete
thoughtful post,
The tragic thing happens when you want to be better than others but you're simply NOT. When you don't seem to do anything better than anyone else, when you don't seem to be really great at anything...competitiveness is a pain!
the sad thing is, what if you were better at something than someone else...(surely you've had those moments in life yes?), the question then becomes then what? or so what? it does seem to be about insecurity and ego doesn't it.
Great post... very honest and true to yourself.
Mine's up... Come visit! :-)
http://lorivillarreal.typepad.com/do_you_realize/
I've never really thought about competition in the light you've shone upon it. I don't find it unhealthy, to a point. I think as long as you can combine competitiveness with grace, you're doing well. And grace is something I forever try to achieve and imbue in my kids.
Stephanie: That happens to me too!
UL: Glad you enjoyed it. Astrology books are very hard on Capricorn, don't believe everything you read ;)
Gautami: That's the spirit! That's Aries way of expressing their identity.
SelftaughtArtist: Yes, that's why you can never "win" with this kind of competitiveness!
Lori: Thanks, I will visit :)
Patois: I think that makes a good combination!
You've just explained so much to me about someone that I love.... thank you!!
Dee
http://pavinganewroad.wordpress.com
hey, I am very competitive too. I had to beat all my dates when I played pool or miniature golf. Even if I didn't know how to play, I would fight until I won.
No, I am not an Aries. I'm a Leo. LOL
Dee: Wow, I'm glad it served a purpose! ;)
Cynthia: So you're a lioness :) Everyone knows it's the female lions that hunt and do all the warrior bits, so good for you hehe
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