Friday, August 29, 2008

sunday scribblings - somewhere


Today I'm not here, I'm somewhere else.

It's somewhere that doesn't really exist but it's very real at the moment.

I woke up after sleeping for about three hours and couldn't get back to sleep. It was very hot and slightly thundery weather outside and my bed was a mess of twists and turns. I started thinking about my story as I do when I'm bored and also when I'm not bored.

After a while I eventually got up and wrote 3 chapters in a row, solely out of the thinking process I had done in the previous moments. I listened to a couple of CDs I hadn't touched for a long time and they inspired me. Inspired me to that amazing point of hearing a song that fits perfectly into the scene you're writing. It's annoyingly good when that happens (annoying because this is not the kind of information you can easily give to the reader - unless you include the song in the story, which doesn't always work - so you have to keep it to yourself - I find it very frustrating when I can't share a joy with someone).

I had lunch but my mind was somewhere else. People talked around me and I listened and replied but I wasn't here. I wrote some more, about that other place, the imaginary one, the one that is flexible and fluid, the one where time stops when you're not thinking about it and resumes when you do. Saturn and Neptune must be having a fight about this right now.

I have a mountain of creativity to climb. I really want to finish what I'm writing but it's still such a long way to go and I can't rely on my persistence. Sometimes I stop and wonder why the hell I waste my time writing. I really do. I mean, unless you get money from your stories, what benefit does it bring me to spend hours thinking and writing about people that don't exist? And then I think about this other place and I ask what other activity could give me the ability to be somewhere else when I want to, when it's really convenient not to be here. Drugs? Meditation? No, I don't want a list. Sleepy or tired or grumpy, this has worked for me all my life, for better or worse. I think I want to be a writer after all.

22 comments:

Shadow said...

i love being in that 'somewhere' you describe. it's a heavenly place to be, i agree. you carry on writing, i love reading it! have a fab weekend!

Linda Jacobs said...

The best somewhere to be! Your writing is excellent! Don't stop!

keiths ramblings said...

I know that place well. A great place to escape to.

murat11 said...

DM: Lovers love, writers write: ain't no explanations. I've walked away a few times in the past with the same question of "I mean, unless you get money from your stories, what benefit does it bring me to spend hours thinking and writing about people that don't exist?" Problem is, you're gonna think about them anyway, whether you write about them or not, and money for most of us is never the issue. That money thing is lottery, fate, wrinkle-free wash, what have you. Writers write. I'm afraid, for you, tis a fait accompli. And we are your beneficiaries. Rave on.

chrispito said...

Devil, your writing is very engaging. But also very "clean" if that makes sense. Clean, as in lucid. And I appreciate that very much. There is something to be said about clear communication, through conversation or imagination.
I'm glad you are getting a lot of work done! Writing can be alienating sometimes, but it is definitely worth it, for you and for us your readers.

Devil Mood said...

Shadow: Thank you! I think most bloggers have that in common, that makes us lucky. :)

Linda: oh thanks!

Keith: As I was saying to Shadow, that must be something we all have in common.

Murat: Thanks! You're right and I would quote the Beatles about the money. Perhaps I should have substituted that with "sense of accomplishment" that writers often don't have because mostly they work alone. And yes, my imagination would never stop and it would probably drive me insane. Writing as survival then ;)

Chrispito: I really appreciate your input. Perhaps my Mercury in Capricorn shows, I like to keep it simple. And you're probably going through some of these stages with your book ;) Yes, alienating is the word, but I guess I was born this way. lol

mgirl said...

Oh how I would love to have a conversation with you! I can totally understand what you are writing,as maybe all writers can. Keep writing, money or no money. (thanks for stopping by and commenting on my story). Cheers!

Tanya Gwen Minnick said...

That place is what keeps me "sane" somedays..I enjoy your writing! and I think it brave that you continue despite moments of doubt!
great post

anthonynorth said...

An excellent, philosophical post. Yes, writing, to me, is the best therapy there is. You can do anything, go anywhere ...
Nothing allows such freedom.

linda may said...

G'Day, This is good stuff. The sort of stuff I revel in but can't get out into words. My mind is visual.

fb said...

Can you tell me more about the picture?

I can only equate it to when I draw and paint, I sometimes look at it and think its so mediocre and derivative but I need to get it out of my system.

As to what to with the 'creation' afterwards is the harder thing.

Vesper de Vil said...

writing rocks, indeed!

gautami tripathy said...

Creativity keeps us going. Even when I am down and totally out...

trying to find a meaning

Devil Mood said...

Mgirl: Oh we still can one day :) It'd be awesome to chat with you, even in blogland! thanks

Tanya Gwen: Thank you. Yes, we should be persistent, right? I'm glad writing is good for you too.

AnthonyN: Thanks! It's true, no boundaries.

Linda May: It's a cool mind to have, a visual one. Does that mean your memory is visual too?

FB: haha yes, that's why I have a few drawers full of scribbled notebooks, you probably have them filled with paintings and drawings! But the important thing is, like you say, get it out of our system.
You mean this picture? Sunset, really strange red clouds, reminded me of a rash. I actually find it a bit repulsive hahah

Vesper: Yes, sister writer :)

Gautami: in those down moments, it's harder to find (my creativity).

fb said...

I like the construction in the foreground and just how inky black it has come out in comparison.

Lilibeth said...

Problem is coming back to the real world when the story is inside you playing out itself in your mind. I know. I've been there. You said it well.

Jennifer Hicks said...

somewhere is where creativity resides....u are there!

Devil Mood said...

FB: Thanks. It is truly not manipulated.

Lilibeth: hehe so true. We get a bit lunatic when that happens.

Jennifer: Oh that's great! Thanks.

Niall said...

It is a truth..some times you HAVE to go to that 'Somewhere Else'..it's a place of big skies and infinite possibities,it has you staring into the distance as something warm generates within..I know that place too..drink deeply whilst you are there..write/sketch your ideas no matter how ludicrous,banal sublime or profane..pick flowers, smell the air and gather the warmth within your soul like charging a battery before you have to return...

Devil Mood said...

Niall, you described it perfectly and gave the best advice. I think I made the most of it by not going back to sleep. Now I'm back in this place but I can't wait to travel again.

lissa said...

yes that somewhere is a great place to be. much to my surprise i've been going there without writing by reading and doing lots of yoga. i love reading about people's writing process. it must be great to wake up in the middle of the night and pour out three chapters.

Devil Mood said...

Lissa: Yoga? Really? That's really remarkable :)
I'm not sure I could get the same feeling by anything other than writing.