Thursday, June 26, 2008

sunday scribblings - vision


She woke up to find a myriad of trees solemnly peeking at her. She blinked several times, rays of sun managing to hit her straight in the eyes. With a wince of pain, she lifted herself from the floor and looked around. In the middle of the woods and she couldn't remember how she got there. Brilliant, this is just brilliant, she thought to herself. Lately it seemed that her actions had been increasingly lacking any logic or reason. She noticed with relief that she was wearing all her clothes, all being the operative word, as she seemed to have gathered half her wardrobe and randomly assembled it into parts of her body.


She rubbed her forehead trying to recollect the latest events in her head. She remembered a clock. Yes, the two hands of a clock pointing at sharp angles of time. Why on earth would a clock be her first recollection? She also remembered a rabbit, a white and fluffy rabbit. God in heaven - was she turning into Alice in Wonderland all of sudden? She exhaled trying to relax both her mind and her muscles that seemed to have been involved in some kind of marathon.


No, no, her allarm clock had a white rabbit on top of it, it was Wonderland-themed. That's probably what she remembered. So what had happened? She managed to get to her feet and walk around a little bit, trying to find any clues as to where she was. A thick fog seemed to be arriving through the trees, but she still managed to spot the chimney of her house through the trees. Oh, so she was in the woods on the back of the street...Ok, could be worse.

While she walked on the path towards civilization flashes of the previous night started to invade her. She remembered the softness of her pillowcase first. She was lying in bed on the verge of falling asleep. And then there was a smell, a very distinctive odour of peppermint and pine combined. When she opened her eyes there was a tiny shiny creature sitting on the top of her bed. She was too sleepy to be able to yelp, while the creature smirked at her and amazingly took flight.


She had hesitated between following it or banging her head against something hard, perhaps she'd wake up. But she leap towards the floor while the creature, that wore a tiny green hat and stripy red and white stockings, seemed to have gone through her window glass and stared at her from the outside. She must have then put some clothes on and gotten out of the house following the creature that twirled near the floor, appearing to leave a trace of glitter everywhere. She couldn't remember anything else now. She sighed, a bit frustrated. She thought her days of sleep-walking were gone but clearly her dreams were still vivid enough to make her get out of bed and do all sorts of potentially dangerous things. She decided to buy a lock to put inside the kitchen door and she walked up to the back of her house, quickening her step while inadvertedly stamping on a little bright green hat.


[This is what happens when you start writing something without having the faintest idea of where it's going!]

More visions on Sunday Scribblings.

31 comments:

lissa said...

i've got to start doing that if it gets me great writing like this.

Violet said...

your writing made me travel to this wonderland. you're really talented u know?

danni said...

this was great - i'm like all caught up in it and then she steps on the hat - bummer!!!

susiej said...

This was fantasic... I was swept away. What a journey, and I love your photo.

Granny Smith said...

Love it! A wonderful see-saw between her reasoned sense of reality and the actually real fantastic evemt. Nice take on "vision".

Surya, the Ayrus! said...

hehe.. the end left a smile on my face.. still smiling.. nice write up.. even i have left my contribution for Vision at sunday scribbles.. would be nice to know your feedback.

anthonynorth said...

Excellent tale! Topped perfectly by the last line.

kimananda said...

I like it! May I request a sequel?

p.s. check out the photo I'm about to post on my blog...look familiar? :-)

San said...

:) lovely.

Niall said...

We've all had evenings like that!..(or is it just me ?..)

one more believer said...

glorious richly painted story... stepping on that littl green hat... purrrfeckt...

Stephanie said...

I want to know what happened next :)

Violet said...

I don't even care what happens next, the journey is nice =)
the descriptions make u be there.
I'm finally reading milan kundera right now, and your writing is much more exciting.

Devil Mood said...

Lissa: Maybe it's not a bad idea but while I was writing it I was screaming: 'what am I doing? Where is this going? oh no'..lol

Violet: wow, I'm flattered! Sometimes it really depends on our moods whether we like something or not. Maybe you're more into fairytale right now. I'm reading Boris Vian and it's completely insane and funny. :)

Danni: lol That's what I intended to do, glad it worked!

SusieJ: Oh thank you *blushing*

Granny: Thank you! I was divided between what was real and fantasy myself, it was difficult.

Hi Surya, thank you. Lovely to put a smile on your face.

Anthony: Thanks :)

Kim: Very familiar :) A sequel? I'll think about it, maybe in another Sun Scribblings...

San,thank you.

Niall: Maybe my character had a glass of wine while chatting to you that night.

One More Believer: :) great! thanks.

Stephanie: Kimananda asked for a sequel and, who knows, maybe it will happen.

rebecca said...

perhaps you did not know where it was going, but it certainly took a life of its own as all good stories go. i liked this story very much, especially the ending when she stepped on the hat.

Dr.John said...

But it still looks like you ended up somewhere.

Saoirse Redgrave said...

Nice use of description--I actually skimmed it once first before really reading because it moved so well and caught my interest so readily. Yep, you've got me rambling... Nice flow, good visuals, intriguing ending (or perhaps the true beginning ;-).

I enjoyed it,
~Saoirse

paris parfait said...

I quite like the unexpected twist in your story!

Violet said...

uma vez juntei me com outros blogueiros anonimos e criamos um blog.. era o blog em branco. e o objectivo era escrevermos uma historia em conjunto.. cada um escrevia um paragrafo. é uma forma fixe de nao nos termos de preocupar com o que vem a seguir :)

Tammy said...

I loved where it went! Delightful :)

missalister said...

Great story! You held my interest easily all the way through…and you know I’ve been mumbling around various sites for quite some time about my focus-ability these days! And I have to say, in regard to what we were talking about with the happy endings the other day, as your story was winding up I was sweatin’ it going, “Naw, she’s wouldn’t do it…would she?” and hallelujah! you put just the right twist on it to keep the ghost “alive” to haunt the reader into the next chapter or sequel or post! Good stuff :-D

Devil Mood said...

Rebecca, thank you. That's how it goes with stories, isn't it? They seem to gain life and then they're done, almost magically.

Dr.John: It does.

Saoirse: Wow, I'm so pleased. Thank you! :)

Paris: hi,thanks and thanks for dropping by.

Violet: Isso é muito fixe! Por acaso participei numa coisa assim que uma blogger fez há uns tempos, foi giro.

Tammy: Thank you, I love your new picture :)

Alister: Yes! That 'conversation' of ours occured to me while I was writing it. I was thinking: can I make some kind of ending that makes sense but is engaging etc...? I think it's a bit cliche, the whole story, but I managed to end it, that was nice :D

Holy Chaos said...

i loved it!

what are you reading these days?

missalister said...

Cliché? Well, Ms. Mood, there truly is nothing new under the sun anywhere, it’s how we arrange the stuff that’s here that makes it unique. Better, I should say it’s how the arrangement comes to us that makes it unique. So through the blind curves of your tale’s meandering, the green hat was able to swoop down or in from somewhere and smack us between the eyes. Your modest responses are so refreshing, or maybe it’s that you really aren’t entirely thrilled with your story. It doesn’t matter so much either way because you’re genuinely good at the ancient art of storytelling so you’re set up to succeed there :-)

Devil Mood said...

Holy Chaos: I'm reading Boris Vian, Autumn in Peking. It's insane.

MissA: How wonderful that idea: it's how it comes to us that is unique. Yes! Yes, I wasn't very satisfied with it because it was created under pressure, it lacks some passion but it turned out ok. :)

dharmabum said...

if u're meaning to say "what happens when u haven't the faintest idea where is going, is that you end up churning out a fabulous little tale", then i'd agree completely.

ur quite a story teller, devil. loved this, and although the hat in the end was quite expected, it still came out well, and kept me wanting for more. way to go!

fb said...

Just go with it and let it take you where it will without conciously trying to manipulate the outcome if possible...

TORRES!

Devil Mood said...

Oh Bum thank you so much :) I wrote that 'don't know where it's going' part before I ended up because it was coming out quite badly, I really didn't know if I was able to get something out of it.

FB: Oh Finn Bell...didn't know you were spanish all of a sudden ...;P
Since I didn't know what I was going to write I had to do something like that.

Tammie Lee said...

wonderful! I want more of this tale. It was so interesting starting at one place and having to travel back to find out more. Love the fantasy aspect as well.

Shadow said...

i love your rambling mind.

Devil Mood said...

Tammie Lee and Shadow: thank you for your comments and middle-of-the-week visits - it's good that our scribblings can last more than the first weekend :)