Friday, May 19, 2006

Leyla

Maybe she'll get my message


Leyla was one of my best friends though we never met face-to-face.
I found her in the text pages of MTV, believe it or not, and we began exchanging letters. From the beginning I felt like I could tell her anything, that she always understood what I was saying. We seemed very alike and had many, many interests in common and similar tastes. She was the one that got me into Tori Amos and taught me many things about Astrology.
There was a time when we exchanged long letters weekly and it was wonderful to get her lovely scented, with perfect handwriting envelopes and sometimes gifts. It was probably the most perfect relationship I ever had. (obviously, the long distance thing makes things a lot easier and ideal; it could be totally different face-to-face)

Then, in 2001, out of nowhere, she moved to Florida (from Sweden) to live with her boyfriend and our letters got less and less frequent. It was unexpected because she never mentioned any plans to move and the relationship seemed a bit strange. We would exchange e-mails and the last time I heard from her was in 2004, when she sent me a card from Disneyworld.
After that I tried to contact her through e-mail and find her using the Internet but I couldn't. I still have her home address but I'm not inclined to send her anything because she didn't like her boyfriend to read the letters. Sometimes I have a bad feeling about that relationship, especially because she seemed sad and lonely over there when I last heard from her. I often think of her and hope that she is okay. I don't really mind if she doesn't feel like writing anymore - these things pass sometimes - but I worry a lot about her.
I decided to write about this because yesterday I heard a song on Eurovision from Bosnia & Herzegovina that was called Lejla. That was where my friend was originally from and it was probably the only good song at the contest. If it wasn't for my parents being there I would have cried because it was all very sad at that moment.
Maybe I'm just being a soppy drama queen. I hope so.

12 comments:

Lorena said...

how sweet...to have found such a connection. maybe one day you will reunite.

jackt said...

I've had tangentially similar experiences. Over the years I've had falling-outs with certain friends and relatives. Sometimes my fault, sometimes theirs. But I often do wonder what they are up and how they are doing, and just reflecting on it can get very emotional.

Very touching post DM.

kimananda said...

Soppy drama queen you certainly are not. It sounds like Leyla enriched your life so much, it would be strange for you not to wonder how she is doing.

Devil Mood said...

Lorena: I hope I find out how she is, at least..

Jackt: Yes, I have a few of those "lost friends", it's just the way of the world, I think: people move on.

Kimananda: Yes, that's a good way of putting it, it's true.

Cathy said...

What a terrible thing, to have lost track of someone. I have had the same experience, but with my first true love :)

Devil Mood said...

Cathy: That must have been really awful, I can't imagine. It must be a lot stranger when you know the person face-to-face and meet in a common context and then he dissappears..:/

Stephanie said...

Beautiful to have had a friend like that, and so sad to have lost touch like that. It creates so many worries. I hope you are able to find out how she is, and that she is well.

Scholiast said...

Have you tried her at her last address in Sweden? Or anyone else of her surname in anywhere near where she was from..?

Hope you'll find her again!

Maddy said...

i hope you find her again -
she may pop up when you least
expect it...

Christopher said...

This made me miss my pen friend. I really should try to find her..

Steve Awesome said...

I know what you mean. I have grown apart from people too, some good friends but I guess we all develop and grow all the time.. Sometimes it leaves less room for older friends. I find it is too easy to be friends that are geographically close

Devil Mood said...

Stephanie: I hope so too :)

Scholiast: I thought about writing to her mother in her old address, although I don't know her name or if she still lives there. But I've always been afraid of scaring or frightening her...

Maddy: I think the more time passes, the least likely it is but I'm not losing hope.

Christopher: Maybe you should, before you lose track of her...

Steve: I think sometimes it's easier to be friends when people are far away...but that's me! ;)