Saturday, February 24, 2007

YouYou Meme

Okay, how ridiculous does that sound?! lol
I'm about to do a post that I'm sure will mean a lot to me, even if to you it may be confusing, incoherent, pointless and boring. I'm sorry, I'd help you figure it out but it'd take me forever. I got this from Eric, who got it from someone else, you know the drill.
I decided to limit my list, in case you decide to read it, because I know 50 is a little heavy. What I'm about to do it talk about people that are/were significant in my life and say a sentence or two about them. This is supposed to allow you get to know me better. Don't know if it will, but it'll definitely be cathartic and emotional and ..I can't wait to start. lol Am I weird or what? Okay, here it goes. No person will be repeated, so it's a number for each. (I won't mix in any online friends, so relax, I won't be mentioning you ;)

0. You were my first best-friend. Together we were as wild as 9-year-old girls can be, we went to forbidden places and talked for hours about our crushes. And we laughed until we couldn't breathe anymore!
1. I wish we were closer but I'm afraid you resent me over something. There is this ghost between us...or is it just me? I still think you're great!
2. You're a constant presence in my life and you annoy me, but I don't know how I'll cope when you're gone. Whether I like it or not, you molded me into the person I am today.
3. I admire your spirit, the life you had, the values you stood by. I admire the love you have for everyone in your life. Deep down, even though times are different, I want some of that for myself.
4. I'm not sure why we drifted apart. Perhaps we clash, perhaps I wasn't the person I am today when we met. I like you, but somehow I want to stay away from you.
5. We shared a common interest and the times we had together were so enthusiastic and fun! I have great memories but I still think you used me...
6. You taught me many things when I was little, some things weren't even true...but you weren't much more of a child yourself. I dream of you often and I admire your free spirit. Maybe I'll never tell you this, we're so different...
7. You were the epitome of the teenage crush. I don't know if I ever believed I'd have a chance with you, but today I'm glad I didn't because it would only kill all of my dreams. Today I can look at the person you are and laugh.
8. We fell out because of the person above, or so I told you. I was probably mean to you, but that happens when you're 13, I suppose. I hope I didn't upset you too badly, but the truth is our time was over - so, like I felt used by others before, it was my turn to be the "abuser".
9. I wish I were in a different place when I met you; perhaps I could've tried to get closer to you. More and more I think we could've been good together. And now you're gone. You were an island and I passed you by (Coldplay).
10. You're the last person on earth I want to disappoint.
11. I've tried to learn from our experience and remember mostly the good things. But even today I'm sometimes invaded by doubt and other times I see things with a clarity that I couldn't achieve at the time. I don't regret anything and you'll always have a place in my life.
12. Even though you were never physically there for me, you were so important and a huge support at difficult times. I learnt from you and you lightened up my life. I couldn't be as honest with anyone as I was with you.
13. You're an artist and you're also a serious man. I've learnt to deal with you through the years; sometimes you get on my nerves too much; other times, I wish I had more to talk to you about.
14. We barely had anything in common but the circumstances brought us together and I thank you for being my friend. I didn't like many of the things you did, I thought you were a slut, but you were my friend and I tried to be there for you as well.
15. You're the funniest person I ever met and I adore you! I can't get over the image of us walking down the street, in the pouring rain, talking like lunatics, giving up on our useless umbrellas, getting completely soaked but not being able to stop laughing for a second. My stomach muscles were sore for weeks!
16. The last time we spoke you were so sweet and nice to me. I never called you back. But that's how stupid I can be. I think you're incredibly interesting, I really do.
17. We had brilliant times together. We shared many great and not so great experiences, I never want to forget them. We've grown apart, as people do. I know I'm probably the one that changed the most. Sometimes I wish I went back to being that girl that spent so many hours in the coffee shop with you, but then I wouldn't be me like I am now. It's confusing.
18. How much more handsome could you be? None! Fabulous memories of those summer days, but I still don't understand what was going on. Were you into me at all? Did you know I was mad about you? Who cares?! lol
19. I wish I was closer to you, you seem like a cool guy. Is there a generation gap? Or are you just like me? Sometimes being family is not enough.
20. You're my mother and saying anything wouldn't be saying nearly enough.
21. You were probably the first boy that paid any active attention to me. You were nice and 'hip' enough. You made me a tape and you walked me home. You loved my record player.
22. Did you get lost in the way? Are you still lost? I'm really sorry. We had such brilliant moments of shared lunacy, we made the greatest films in our heads. You're so funny and you were always so understanding. I love you, girl!
23. I could've seriously fallen in love with you, but it wasn't the right time. You were the mysterious guy, you were perfect, too fact, you were so troubled. I hope you're feeling better now. Don't lose yourself, someone will need you badly one day.
24. I never had a brother or a sister until you came along! The years have passed, we love to talk about our memories and I sincerely hope that we'll keep doing that for years to come. I just wish you valued yourself more. I'm not preaching here, I'm just saying...
25. You challenge me and you provoke me, but you're great and I shouldn't run away from you. We have much to talk about, we are alike and you're a really special person.
26. I could never categorize you in the midst of all the people I've met - you're so unique! Even though you're far away now, I always remember your generosity, your constant smile and how you paid me so much attention when I wasn't anything or anyone to you (yet). And I miss the way you hugged me :)
27. I thank you for putting up with all moodiness and I'm only afraid one day you'll grow tired of it. It's been really important to me that you respect the fact that I'm a loner and a crazy woman. I think you're fabulous and now I'm crying like a baby. :P
28. It was great to feel admired and cherished by you. Maybe I didn't treat you as well as you deserved. I guess I wasn't used to having someone in my life that liked me. Nevertheless, I have great memories of our moments together. A bundle of laughs and educational conversations. And you really got me!
29. Maybe deep down you're the man of my dreams, but this is an option I'll never face consciously. It's wrong but it's one of those things...Sometimes I dream of you and I'm sure no-one has ever annoyed and fascinated me as much at the same time.
30. Boy, we could've had something there! I have to laugh when I think about it. We had fun and I have the photos to prove it. You made me feel different and that was special at the time.

I had to ignore huge parts of my family to get this done. As no names were mentioned, I'm sure no-one will be upset. It's not like any of them read this anyway.
Reading this you'd think I'm a happy and full of love person, wouldn't you? How funny is this!? But, yes, it's a little surprising that I've had so many people in my life that were significant. Most of them are gone now, but that's not necessarily bad. It's part of growing up and changing and becoming who you are. Some people enter your life for a reason, others for a season and others for a lifetime, or so I've heard.


[eric] said...

"I'm about to do a post that I'm sure will mean a lot to me, even if to you it may be confusing, incoherent, pointless and boring."

Do you know how many blog posts on Earth are like this? Even still, more often than not they still manage to get through to someone. ^_^

Anonymous said...

avoiding family is easier said then done.

Sophie said...

I find these profoundly personal - and beautiful ....

i want to try one in the style of a poem...

Niall said...

Your photo..
The sky is ever changing and full of many colours..your life is full of many people, memories, experiences..when we look at the sky we never consider the meterological reasons, the refraction of's just'the sky'. When you look at your's just 'life'..but there is so much more. I wholeheartedly agree with Sophie..this is so beautiful!

D said...

Cool listings...but I fail what will happen when 1 comes closer and 2 walks away, 3 start giving what you want 4 becomes ur neigbour 5 needs ur help 6 asks sorry for nothing and 8 gets a good reason to ask his share back and things make u work with 9 while 10 asks for a favour beyond ur means.....I think the list is too long ;-)

Devil Mood said...

Eric: You're right! But this one felt particularly so, as you have experienced with your post.

Day: Yep, I couldn't avoid them all. Not even in my blog. hehe

Sophie: You should, it's a profound experience doing this :)

Niall: That's a nice point of view - doing this post I thought of 'life' and its metereological reasons ;) It wasn't just life and present, it was a round-up of past moments. Just an old photo, completely out of focus.

D: lol, very good. You don't know that and neither do I, but that's life, isn't it? Originally, there was supposed to be 50 people, so consider yourself lucky I only did 31!

holy chaos said...

i liked this post,devil mood.

" Some people enter your life for a reason, others for a season and others for a lifetime"

when a friend and I lose touch, i feel sad... like my college friends... who i thought were my very best friends... but time is a thief... and perhaps too much time has passed by.

i want to do this post,too but not surei could do as weel as you and eric!

Devil Mood said...

Natalie: There's no right or wrong way to do this, you just have to be honest and I'm sure it'll be good for you. :)
It does take a long time to write, though...

lady miss marquise said...

It's amazing when we look back over the people who have helped shape who we are - whether they are still a part of our lives now or were people we had to let go for our own sanity.

There are so many people who made an impact on my life, yet for the best we had to part ways.

Cathy said...

I totally agree with Eric's comment. This must have been cathartic for you! I can't wait to do this post as well: free therapy!

Stephanie said...

it all seems so mysterious and romantic when you don't know the people...

i'm not sure i could manager one of these. might try though :)

Devil Mood said...

LadyMiss: Some things don't last but are equally important for the rest of our lives. And yes, it's amazing to look back.

Cathy: Exactly, it's really therapeutic. It's great! Do it :)

Stephanie: You're right. And I add that it's a lot more romantic when you don't know the people.Of course you could manage it. :)

Ps said...

I loved this!Its so beautifully expressed--and the funny thing is that there have been so many exactly the way you describe in my life too.One of my blogposts(buried somewhere in archives)I'd mentioned exactly the whole text of "reason, season and lifetime".Makes so much sense.

Devil Mood said...

Preeti: I've read that quote somewhere a long time ago and remembered it when I was writing this because it's so true. Fortunately I had written it down :)