Wednesday, August 08, 2007

It is noticeable that I haven't been writing as much. I can't remember the last time I had an idea for a post, or anything interesting to tell you about. I'm not blaming it on lack of inspiration only. The fact is I've been feeling really down lately.
At the moment my life seems like a long dark tunnel, without any light in the end. I really don't see it going anywhere, except further down, until I finally reach rock bottom. I shouldn't be letting myself go this far but I don't feel like I have the strenght to pretend anymore, nor to lift myself up.
I should be taking one thing at the time, one day at the time but everything seems tangled in one big ball of mess. I've never been an optimist but right now I've reached the top of my game at looking at things grimly.
I've never talked about these troubles openly in the blog not because I don't trust or care about the people that read the posts. The truth is I don't talk about them with anyone, I'm that kind of person.
And I also don't want this to sound like I'm involving you in my sadness because ultimately I'm the only one that can really help myself. I'm only writing about this to unburden a little of this pressure I feel everyday, this weight over me, this guilt and this worthlessness.
I have purposefully disabled the comments for this post because this isn't a cry for help. I'm still the same person so don't treat me any differently, that's my point. See you later.