Friday, March 07, 2008

SS - The Experiment

from LaNacion.com (Batu by Tute)
- What are you doing lying there, Batu?
- I'm having fun watching the clouds.
- Are you going to be much longer having fun in such a boring way?


I was thinking about a friend of mine last night. We were really close in some crucial years of our adolescence. Yet after each of us followed our own path in life, we gradually lost touch. As I was thinking about our relationship, a few puzzling questions came up and I realize the prompt "Experimental" could be applied to all of this.


First of all, we shared a period of our lives where experimentation was frequent, desired and even necessary because in order to understand what we're all about, we need to try different things.
Secondly she was (still is) an Aquarius with Gemini rising (also Virgo Moon) and she was always allert to all the novelties out there and naturally she wanted to try everything, go everywhere, do everything. Me being a Sagittarius made me very "useful" in this department because Sagittarius have an intuition for what it's going to be hip before everyone else even sniffed it. (Not that I was very interested in what was new, but I'd tell her: oh I read a really good book or heard a great song and the next day she'd be reading it or listening). Obviously the opposite also happened, I'm not saying the contrary.


She was the kind of person that takes books and newspapers to the caffe to sit and read while having a cigarette and a cup of coffee (in those days, now you can't smoke in caffes), while going on about her latest discoveries. (it's not all about the intellect, but also about the social connotation of this). Back then being intellectual suited me too. I liked to think and debate. These days I don't care much about that, I'm much more interested in the feeling aspect of things (Water) and I look at her now and find her extremely mental (not in the sense of nuts, but in the sense of intellectualism), which is visible in her astrological portrait.


This obviously takes me to that old conclusion that we meet people along the way that help us develop parts of ourselves and respond to what we're looking for at the time. Today I don't know if this friendship would suit me. The truth is, even then, despite us being together all the time, we weren't as intimate as I'd like us to be. (How can you be intimate with an Aquarius? Please tell me, as I seem not to be able to.) She opened up about certain things but not about others; I felt a certain resistance from her and felt guilty for going on about my love life, which only lead to a certain restraint from me too.


We had fun, we experimented, we moved on. This seems natural for an Aquarian I'm sure and since I have Aquarius in my 11th house (friendships) it seems to fit me too, though I find it sad and a bit difficult.

More experiments can be found here.

31 comments:

UL said...

I once had a friend who believed in astrology...who could name the star sign of a person after having a little conversation with him/her...your post somehow reminded me of her...she believed in stars...and I didnt at the time...years later...our roles are reversed, I am believer and she not so much...! I think her beliefs rubbed off on me and vice versa...wierd huh?

Lucy said...

"not in the sense of nuts"
haha This was a great interpretation of an experimental friendship.
I know exactly what you mean about spending so much time together yet not being as intimate as you would like to be with a good friend.
great post... and I would love your astrological opinion on Leo's with a pisces rising! haha

fb said...

Hmm, I remember being a cigarette smoking, coffee drinking cafe inhabitant but I've quit all three now...sadly the cafe has been replaced with Satanbucks.

People drop in and out of each others lives and surface when they need something but I'm sure if she called and said 'come for a coffee and a slice of pie/cake', you just might.

I'm not sure if its not getting harder to connect and share as more options are offered to us.

neith said...

Being an 11th House Moon person (& Moon trine Uranus) my friendships tend be somewhat Aquarian in nature too. Unusual, intense and with people from all sorts of places and ages plus they come and go with no rhyme or reason. I've learned to enjoy them with as few expectations as possible as best I can . . .

I too have fond memories of coffee & cigarettes, reading or visiting with friends in cafes - all of which is gone. :-D

Niall said...

It's interesting isn't it?..Isn't life one big experiment..aren't we all like dodgems at a fair ground?..maybe not..maybe sometimes we have control of the wheel..maybe sometimes we know exactly where we're going..maybe sometimes we just fool ourselves..maybe this is as good as it gets..maybe, just maybe if we have someone to share a little of the ride with, we are the lukiest people alive.

You convey the sadness for a friendship lost so poigniantly..

Steve said...

They say life is written in the stars.....

Wonder what happened to me?

Macii said...

Thanks for stopping by! So true what you said:

"we meet people along the way that help us develop parts of ourselves and respond to what we're looking for at the time"

I have found that over and over again in my life . . . but saying goodbye is always bitter-sweet.

Vesper de Vil said...

i think the same can be said of romantic relationships. i look at some of my past relationships...and i totally shake my head. but then....it's what i needed at the time in each case. it makes me wonder if long-term relationships are possible, where both parties are truly satisfied and "fed" by the other. hmmmm

Vesper de Vil said...

p.s. the word i would use for your friend is "cerebral." i can be that way...i'm equally cerebral and artsy-fartsy....which can be equally annoying for others.

tumblewords said...

I've been through several of those friendship experiments too. Leo with Sag rising, I have no water at all, so I've burned every bridge I came to. LOL Nice that you have a spot of water to settle into! Wise and interesting post!

Amiene R.ev said...

Batu? In Malay, Batu = Rock or Stone.

Devil Mood said...

UL: That's very curious! I'm glad you believe in something though.

Lucy: I'm not surprised that you ask. Leos love to talk about themselves, don't they? ;) But with Pisces rising you'll probably be softer and not as ferocious as the common lioness. You're a dreamer, make the most of your creativity.

FB: I was happily going to tell you how there isn't a single Starbucks in Portugal. Yet today I opened the paper and realized there will be one soon and then they'll grow like mushrooms :(
I'm glad you're a healthier self now. Do you mean harder to connect with the Internet and such? Maybe.

Neith: I guess I'll have to take that approach to friendship too. I've had a few relationships vanishing into thin air. Sometimes it's heartbreaking.

Niall: You're right, we should value the people around us right now, even if they're gone the next minute. Oh why? lol

Steve: It happens. Time flies these days and we can't keep track.

Macii: Absolutely! Thanks for visiting too.

Vesper: Yay, you're here! I agree, it happens in every kind of relationship. Yes, cerebral and artsy-fartsy haha!

Tumblewords: But I lack Earth. Oh well, we all lack something. I hope those relationships helped you learn interesting things :)

Amiene: Really? Thanks for that. I learnt a new word!

Violet said...

How I understand your frustration with aquariuses! I have some extreme examples in my life of how they are imune to intimacy.
I also identify with having become less intelectual and more emotional as I matured. I think that is the only way to mature well :P
People go different ways though, different timings. And the faster we grow the less longer we'll identify with old friends. Better things are ahead, point your arrow forward as a good sag :)

Awareness said...

hi there! thank you for visiting my blog and leaving me such a nice compliment. it means a great deal.

I believe there are certain people who do come into our lives and walk a mile or two with us for reasons sometimes unknown to us at the time.....and in fact, we may think it is for one reason and then much much later we realize it was for another reason altogether.

Friendships and blossoming relationships are all experimental to a large extent don't you think? I mean anytime you are learning a new dance step with someone, it's a big experiment. Adolescence and young adulthood is THE time for trying to figure it out. :)

very interesting thoughts....!

fb said...

I guess harder and easier to connect with each other in part to the internet.

On a side note just how good have Torres and Gerrard been in the last week.

Today's goals against Newcastle were fantastic and I don't mean Pennant's.

Torres' dummy on the keeper was brilliant.

paisley said...

i know right between little and nothing about astrology... but i do agree everyone serves a purpose in our lives... sometimes it just takes a while to figure out what that purpose is.......

chrispito said...

devil this post was so lovely...I do have some very good Aquarius friends though I never talk to them about astrology (too out there for some of them, eh??)

I do find it a bit sad as well when friends disappear but I have come to terms with it. For the most part...I just can't indulge those feelings to often as for me it can be a case of bottomless grief. :(

My circle of friends is very eclectic. Using an equalized house system I have 11th House Uranus opposed Sun...which would explain my painful but inevitable acceptance that people come...and go...

In any case, I'm glad you came into my life! :)

Standbymind said...

Interesting read...

tell me somethin about me too..

12 aug,85
time of birth: 9:45 am

:)

Crafty Green Poet said...

excellent post, I think there are lots of friendshiops that are just right for one period of your life and then, its time to move on. Or friendships that fulfil one part of your personality in a longer term way. I enjoyed your post and the cartoon too, gosh i even understood the first two sentences in Spanish!

Ps said...

Loved the way you analysed it and saw how a friendship that was not meant to be, heped you grow. i have an aquarian friend too.(have never been able to get as close to her-dont know why.We have been friends for very very long--yet I can feel some holding back from my side)

Ps said...

I mean 'helped'

Devil Mood said...

Violet: That's an interesting theory, growing less intellectual and more emotional. Perhaps it has to do with our progressed charts..(?) What choice do I have but to point my arrow to the future? hehe ;) Thanks, nice comment.

Awareness: I really like that - we're learning dance steps with the people in our lives! :) Yes, I agree it's very experimental. After all we are social animals, we aim to relate and yet we are born alone...hmmm.

FB: True, easier and harder at the same time. I didn't see the goals but I agree that both of them are "above-average" players (that's the best compliment you'll have from me today lol).

Paisley: Yes, things are usually clearer when we see them from a distance. Perspective is the key. :)

Chrispito: Oh I'm glad you're in my life too. Very glad! I think Aquarians (in general, of course) are interested in Astrology, if you talk to them about it but maybe that mental side of them doesn't let them 'believe'.
I definitely understand that Uranus situation, mainly because you explain it so well always :)

Standbymind: You are younger than me! That's not allowed, I'm afraid ;)
Oh another Leo...You have Libra as your Ascendant, did you know? You enjoy your social life, arts, beautiful things, chatting, you're very communicative :)

Crafty: Well done! I think that's true. It's difficult to find someone that completes all sides of us. Is that even possible? ...

PS: Perhaps you hold back because you don't feel your friend is open to talking about certain things. It's often a two-way thing, well, it's always a two-way thing actually ;). Glad you liked it.

amy said...

aha - now I understand why I feel like I am always experimenting, so it was difficult to have the perspective to write about it - I am an Aquarius too! I think you've captured very well a certain type of friendship...

Amarettogirl said...

Perhaps, given that you have grown and changed - she too has grown and changed and who knows if this friendship could suit you today? I liked this piece, it got me thinking of strained friendships that I have goin' on right now. You reminded us that people do cross our paths at given moments for a reason and than perhaps they are no longer necessary to us - sad but true. Furthermore, you have my (and others) interest peaked as to what my astrological chart might look like!! great job!

gautami tripathy said...

Sometimes it is best to let go..

Refluxing Life

Devil Mood said...

Amy: Yes, of course it's always more difficult to make a portrait of ourselves when we don't have a distant perspective.

Amarettogirl: That's possible but I've been with her after a while and didn't feel such a big connection anymore. I'm positive she feels the same way about me too, that's how it goes. Well, if you'll allow me to publicize myself, I do have an astrology site ;)

Gautami: True!

Tammy said...

Nice to meet you! This fondly took me back down memory lane. I'm a Viro/Libra and have liked various signs. Scorpios are a tad hard for me so of course I gave birth to one. ;)

Holy Chaos said...

friendships can be so hard. I used to hate it when people drifted in and out of my life

but freinds do that as the seasons in our lives change.

Devil Mood said...

Tammy: hehe it is often how it happens, isn't it? We are challenged by life. Nice to meet you too.

Holy chaos: It's true. Perhaps we've both played our role and it was time to move on.

missalister said...

I identified with your experience, of course with variations on the theme! I’ve had only one best female friend ever, and that was in junior high and a bit into high school. We did everything together—we stayed over at each other’s houses, went to movies, went roller skating, had crushes on guys, threw the most awesome Halloween party together, were in school musicals and music festivals together, played field hockey and were cheerleaders together—and then she dumped me for the girls basketball team star! She’s a Libra, always did seem a bit fickle for my taste! I laugh now, but if I examine that whole thing closely, which I almost never choose to do, I find that it defined the level of closeness I allowed in my relationships going forward from that point. Niall’s right (the second week in a row his thinking has been spot-on with mine), life is indeed one big experiment!

Miss Iyer said...

Such a thought-provoking post D! You know, come to think about it, its kinda true that! I mean, as we grow, our friendship needs differ naturally to suit our maturity (or the lack of it). I love how you've put it down and decided that maybe you wont fit into that kinda style anymore. Love it, love it D!

Oh and about Saggi's being intuitive. I could swear by it myself! My sister is a Saggi and by God, can she be totally intuitive. I'm still amazed at the things she'd say and watch it happen eventually! :|